My Imaginary Mind...

I gaze at a picture hanging on a wall ... I see a place  in my mind where I've never been, yet it seems as though I have ... If I close my eyes I am there...

I now open my eyes in my mind to where I have never been ... Yet I never was, but as I continue to gaze at the picture that is hanging on the wall I can feel the comfort of this special place..

I can see it so clearly with my eyes close. I can feel the breeze on my skin,  I smell the scent of fresh flowers and I can hear the waves of great waters...

I am walking bare feet on a beach, with my shoes in hand, as I feel the dirt press with each step between my toes...The water from the waves are now rinsing the sand from my feet...I'm now sitting in the sand and allowing the rushing waters caused by the waves to cool my body because the Sun is very warm today..

Can you feel what am experiencing at this moment....in my mind? .... Come walk with me a moment. I invite you into my mind...look over there, see the Palm trees swaying from the breeze from these great waters...

A storm is beginning to brew...lets run, but wait, look how the waves are tossing that large ship back and forth.

Okay, stop running. Its calm again, the Sun has reappeared...I need to sleep...because I'm tired.

My mind has tired me from all the excitement that I am experiencing, yet there is a calmness, a peace...But I am alone. However, I can feel the presence of someone very special here with me...
..........................
I dream of being free, I need to be free.

In my mind I can create a completely new surrounding to fit in my world...

I know that I have a mind that is independently different, because I dream, I imagine and I can place me wherever I choose.

I unlock my heart, so that I can speak my mind,

I carry my own cross concerning specific matters, I can feel the total weight of the cross I am carrying.

I dream of a difference for something that will never change.

I go on as if what I know doesn't matter...I exist day after day ... I try to change the outcome, but I can't.

The truth is I long for the truth and reality.

But .... my mind keeps me safe, content and at peace, in a place where I have never been, but I'm there because I have gazed at the picture on the wall and I have placed myself there, in my mind.

This is what I know.......

I know that life is about avoiding jealosy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It is about seeing people for who they are and not how I want to see them. Whether they are Good, Bad or indifferent.

And loving them anyway...

Now.....this is what I do...

           When I am hurt and or disappointed ..... I sit quietly in the hiding place of my imaginary mind gazing at a specific picture on the wall or simply allow a thought of a place I would like to go and I placed me wherever that is...
                                      
But I still yearn and long for the truth... That still eludes me by { _ _ _ }


Does this makes sense to you? .... I welcome your opinions.


Happy reading...

Love & Trust .... Betrayal & Forgiveness...

I spoke to a friend today dated April 12, 2011. He posed a question to me and it went like this.

Can you trust anyone that you suspect is cheating or have cheated on you? I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts, because I did not want to give my friend the wrong answer. I could hear how hurt he was over the phone.

His voice was cracking and I could tell that he was either crying or he had been crying...

We were silent for a moment ... I listened to him sniffle and make another attempt to talk but he began to break down again...

I have known this friend for over 40 years and I have never seen or heard him cry. Needless to say I was a little taken back. I guess we all have our breaking point.

I broke my silence to him and said, "I can hear your hurt, I understand your pain. Right now you are  dissappointed, hurting and slightly angry, but love never brings revenge on someone you truly love".

No matter how much it hurts, dissappoints and anger you. I told him that the very essence of the word love is forgiveness to the fullest. 

I said to him, "if you don't think you can forgive her, then examine whether or not you really truly loved her".

I ask him not to make any sudden decisions right now. One of the worst things one can do during times of hurt, dissappointment and anger is to make a decision based on emotions and not intellect.

The last thing I said to him was this, so Men - Women listen up...Don't you dare put your hands on her to bring bodily harm because you are angry and hurting. Because dating, being in love and even being married to someone does not give you the right to physically put your hands on them because you are in pain.

LOVE IS NOT OWNERSHIP....And a person is just as free to fall out of love, just as they are free to fall in love... Whether you like it or not...

At that time I stopped talking to my friend and started writing.


Moving on...

Listen, when you really love someone and you place them on a very high pesdestal, and then you find out that they betrayed you, then you confront them with what you know, and top it all off, you catch them in a very hurtful lie, it could be very devastating...

But then I thought, and ask myself this question, - did they deserve to be placed there? did they ask to be placed there? why are they placed there?

We place individuals on pedestals because we choose to, because we want to believe in them, we want to trust them with our hearts...we all do. And when they fall we want to blame them for falling off of the pedestal that we placed them on, even without there permission.

In all honestly, it's not fair to them, especially if it is not in their nature or DNA.

People fall in love and they can fall out of love. It's just the way love is. People find other interests, it's called life in the world of relationships.


We are all human and subject to make mistakes but what we refuse to acknowledge is {Willfull mistakes or ill-advised decisions} is not really a mistake. It's just reality. And we are all subject to willfully choosing to make what we call a mistake, which in all honestly is not a mistake, because it was willfully done. {I know I just repeated myself...it was intended}

I began to rethink certain events that happened in my life, but I was not going to give him my personal opinion.


I ask him... How deeply does he love her? He hesitated and said "deeply, but I just need to hear your answer".

So, I told him ... it all depends on how deep your love runs for her...I ask him did he think she was worthy of his love? and could he fully, completely forgive her? The rest was up to him. 

I went on to tell my friend that if, when he looks at her after the pain has subsided and the reconciliation process has begun and fresh in his mind is what she did to him, then it would not be fair to either of them and it would be wise for the two of them to discuss the continuation or their  relationship.

However time heals wounds, maybe not all but in time the soreness does subsides...

I wrote this in one of my previous blogs: 

To love someone is to give them the ability to totally destroy you...yet trusting them not to.

Yet sometimes you can deeply love someone that does not love you the same. That being said, sometimes your trust in that type of person can hurt you...but don't let them destroy you.

Now I want to pose a question to you ....
Can you ever -really- fully trust someone who have betrayed you after you have given them total trust?

Can you ever forget the pain that they brought upon you? Can you still see them as you once did, even after they betrayed your trust?

Trust is a very powerful word and it takes strong character to embrace it.


The word integrity means:  adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty, trustworthy.

Relationships starts out like fairy tales. The event and the relationship are filled with so many expectations. And sometimes the expectations hold firm and sometimes they fall through.

Lastly...this is what I honestly believe:

Before you can survive a betrayal and save your relationship, certain things must that take place.

1 - The first step is to heal yourself first. Once you deal with the raw emotions you are going through such as heartache, betrayal, anger, jealousy and feeling like you've been punch in the stomach and as well feeling like a fool. Once these emotions have been processed healing begins and a possible healing of your relationship.

Listen, you cannot save a relationship until you save yourself first. And if you are not careful you will lose:

1 - Self-respect
2 - Self-trust
3 - Self-confidence

You must overcome the flood of negative thoughts, haunting images, overwhelming and paralyzing emotions.

Remember this, Forgiveness is for you, not for the one who has wronged you. Forgiveness is definately a destination and not as action.

Five reasons to forgive:
1. Life is too short.
2. Harboring bitterness is not healthy.
3. Carrying the burden of hurt and anger becomes heavier and heavier.
4. Forgiving does not mean forgetting.
5. There is more power and freedom in letting go.

• In reference to number 4: {it really does not mean you forget, it means you no longer harbor the pain and you no longer hold the hurt you've endured against the person that caused it}.

     

• In reference to number 5: { Letting go means no longer letting the past control today’s unwanted feelings and behaviour}

I am not a Psychiatrist nor a Sociologist ... these are simply my opinions...

So, that being said listen with a sifter in your mind as always. Anything that is not consistent with the truth, then please throw it away and if it is, hold on to it....

If you don't think I gave the right advice, then please voice your opinion. I welcome it!!!


Oh, I forgot. If you have never done anything purposefully wrong for whatever the reason, then please raise your hand!!!



Happy reading...

Choices.......Lasting Effects...

Choices allow for alternatives --- It  also presents consequences!!!

Which Door will you choose?

When we were young we had so many aspirations. So many hope and dreams of things we would like to see come true. People we want to be like, things we would like have. Like beautiful homes, nice cars, the perfect family, the best job and of course lots of money.


But something is around me, I cannot see it, I can't feel it, but somehow I can sense it. It seems as though the things that I reach for eludes me...

My Soul seems to drift as it searches for meaning and truth...yet I know the direction it should go.

My heart pounds when I sink deep in thought...it seeks happiness that is a fingertip away, yet I know why.

My eyes wonder in times of need and want. They stare into darkness as I see the things I desire drifting away, yet I know why.

My ears listen diligently when I am silent. They search for sounds that they are familiar with, to find peace and contentment ... that eludes them. My thoughts sometimes confuse me and I sometimes cannot get past the clutter in my head to hear what I need to hear, yet I know why.

In my mind my arms reach out in despair to touch something tangable to bring me comfort, but I'm not satisfied because it leaves me lacking something....Yet I know what it is... I think???

My mind is so congested with thoughts of - I wish, I want, I need, I desire, in quiet times. It asks indepth questions and yearns for answers...

My thoughts and wishes all lingers with me...they are contained in my book of memories.

My hands picks up my phone in desperation to dial familiar numbers, to hear a calming voice ... I realize that, that voice is my life-line to keeping me sane...Yet I know why.

I know that life is truly a gift from God....But life is also what you make it, and that stems from the decisions one makes. And, just as a beautiful rose with soft petals, a scent so sweet, it also have sharp thorns that can bring so much pain, when mishandled by incorrect choices, and yes, so does life.

There lies within each of us the beauty just like the rose, when it is use to touch others - then, like the rose your beauty will overflow...

 However, Life has good and bad, but in the end we determine our own course.  I know this because each of of us were given a free will to choose the course (s) we want. Good or Bad...

Sometimes I wonder, will I ever be the man that I was destined to be or will I remain the shadow of someone I will never be?...

Which-ever it is - time is - truly winding down....

The key to life is to fight...Never stop fighting...Never give up...I must embrace my destiny ... and so must you...

Dare to dream, dare to reach, dare to hope for, dare to believe... My destiny - your destiny can be hinged on a strong yearning, burning, intesifying desire to reach it...Whatever, wherever it is or where it lead.

Maybe to you this writing is abstract, but to me it is so clear...

• I welcome your opinions...

{ Always remember to approach this with a sifter in your mind...keep that which is true and throw ~away that which you find not to be.}


Happy reading...

Walk ... With ...Me!

Sometimes I sit and honestly wonder how I survived some of the things that should have taken my life...

 I reminisce over past events that happened in my life. Some things I would really like to share openly, but others may be offended by my honesty.

That being said, some things are better off kept inside than revealed, yet, those events have haunted me for years.

 Some things I've shared in a round-about way, but never being specific or direct.

I have locked in my mind old pictures and scenes that I have visualized and played over & over.

oddly enough, most are sad....Yet I enjoy holding on to them, because it helps me to see just how far I've come.

It never mattered how sad, bad or indifferent things were, because I have always found a hiding place deep inside of my mind.

My imagination was and is very vivid and I have always been able to relax and hide myself in pleasant thoughts and dreams.

My mind really became my best friend.... And my hiding place.


I recall sitting in a room for hours, never mindful of time - wishing things in my child-hood home was different from the way it really was...


I would visit friend's homes, that seemed to be the way a home should be and imagine my home being the same or better.

 Somehow things worked itself out, yet not necessarily to my approval.

amazing, sometimes you think you can't go on, until you reach the point of no return...



Now...this I know is true...

I am so glad for the disappointments, sad, bad and indifferent moments that took place in my life....because I know, now, that I was always in his {God's} hands.

I know, now, that nothing could touch me, except Him {God} when I am in His Hands. I could bring all of my burdens, all of my failures and place them in His hands... but I did not know this back then...

Listen..... I will have more problems and disappointments and so will you, yet, through all of our problems, failures, disappointments, bad and sad times, we can place each in His {God's}hands.

I realize now, that there is no cause to worry; there is no cause to fear, because in His {God's} hands there is always safety and we are always safe...

Each of us will deal with our situations differently... but His is always the best way.


Moving on...
I've stared death in the face on more than one occasion, I've felt breath of God breathing on my lips...saying these word ... "For what is your life; it is even a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow".

I would not lie on God. What I am telling is true.

I've had encounters with strangers, that told me things that only God could have revealed to them...because, what they told me was nothing but the truth...


As an adult, God has reminded me of prayers that I prayed as a teenager. He has warned me of things not to do and of things I should do; and no, I've not always listened.

But His Grace still kept me safe.

This is what I've learned ... There are no middle roads when it comes to God. Either we are totally for Him or we are totally against Him. Revelations 3:15-16 (please read).. He uses the terms cold or Hot ...

I've also discovered that my life and your life can be and is suppose to be Super -natural, according to Exodus Chapters 3: verses 1-5; then Exodus Chapter 4: verses 1-7.

I am including my number in the event you would like to discuss any of what I've written. {678-462-1450}


Lastly..... We choose to walk in darkness, when we refuse to walk in the bright light that God has provided...


As always, if what I've said is not consistent with the truth, then please discard it. But, if it is, then hold on to it and use this to your advantage......


Happy reading...