As you know, relationships can be very taxing at times. Yet, when you truly care for someone, love and compassion must be the foundation, as well as the ability to reason together.
However, in this writing I wish to point out three things that can ruin any relationship and it does not matter how rich, handsome, beautiful or your status in society.
I want to deal with my subject from a male perspective. And I chose to do this because as men we can have such a dominating Attitude, we can be very Opinionated and The Lack of Ability to reason.
It is either Our way or No way at all!!! BAD MISTAKE!!!
Men are notorious about giving their opinion and advice, displaying an Attitude when their opinions are not received and then show a lack of ability to even desire to reason.
Alert, Alert Alert!!!! ... Contrary to popular demand, Women have opinions too, and can give advice and have the option of rejecting yours.
Why do we (men) think that our advice and opinions are the only ones that counts. Men wake up!!! Before it's to late!
Understand, a relationship between a woman and a man does not mean, The man is a Dictator, you sir are not the Boss and your Attitude should not be My way or No way!!! There is a beautiful gospel song that says "Come, Let us reason together"
This is a sure way to End, what could have been and should have been a Great relationship. And, in many instances, this knowledge is discovered after a Breakup or Divorce.
My question to you sir: Is this what you truly want? Throw your pride out of the window and please answer the question honestly.
Here are the three words that kill any relationship: if not used correctly!
- Attitude
- Opinion
- The ability to reason together
Attitude: it's been stated that attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
It will make or break a company … Church … or Home. The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past … we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is plan on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … We are in charge of our attitudes.
Opinion: Attitude; Outlook; formal Judgment or Estimation.
In general, an opinion is a subjective belief, and is the result of emotion or interpretation of facts. An opinion may be supported by an argument, although people may draw opposing opinions from the same set of facts. Opinions rarely change without new arguments being presented. However, it can be reasoned that one opinion is better supported by the facts than another by analyzing the supporting arguments. In casual use, the term opinion may be the result of a person's perspective, understanding, particular feelings, beliefs, and desires. It may refer to unsubstantiated information, in contrast to knowledge and fact-based beliefs.
Know this, Your Opinions are not always a true assessment of a situation. It is your observation of how you see it. She has an opinion too. Opinions can also be very offensive, hurtful and painful! So, when you share your opinion consider her feelings as well. Know that the world as large as it is, does not evolve around you and your opinion(s).
The ability to reason together: Find a solution to a problem by considering possible options.
Many times when opinions are given and discussions take place, it leads into arguments. The arguments are usually initiated because one person has sat and thought during the day, forming an opinion of a situation, and developing an attitude that makes reasoning absolutely impossible.
From there, harsh words maybe spoken that can cut deeper than the sharpest knife. The wound can be so deep until healing is impossible. Thus leading to the death of a relationship or marriage.
The Roses, Diamonds or Chocolates you bring, in hope of making up; may not stop the bleeding from the wound you've opened up. Harsh words can cut very deep and may not stop your relationship or marriage from bleeding to death!!!
We as men must understand that women are different. Yes The man is the authoritative figure over the wife, but he is not to be Boss or a Dictator. God is the head of the man and expects the man to lead his family correctly.
So often, we marry and immediately the man's attitude is (I'm the Boss. You should obey Me), What I say goes is the attutude. And you know what?... Whispering 'He doesn't know the first thing about being a husband and a leader.
We must learn when to be Men of velvet: Kind, sensitive, understanding, tender hearted.
And when to be Men of steel: Firm, Strong and Direct ... but still with sensitivity!!!
Women are to us as a help-mate. to love, cherish, protect and provide for...
Please remember, I'm not an expert, I'm not Dr. Phil, I'm just Bernard Edwards. A country boy from Hartsville, SC and felt compelled to write this. I trust this article will be of help to you.
Never forget: The wrong Attitude and Opinion can Disintegrate the ability to reason together and destroy a relationship.
Disintegrate: to destroy the cohesion, unity, or wholeness of something, or undergo such destruction
Change your atttitude, Be sensitive when giving your opinion. Give her a chance to rebut your opinion, without becoming emotional and Be ready to reason together.
Don't allow anger to enter in and please understand this, your opinion is like a body .... Everyone has one.
These are my thoughts ... I welcome yours!!!
