Confidence......

So often we desire to make changes in our lives but are unable to do so. Many times are unable to because of economical and other person circumstances. One of those circumstances and many times the number one circumstance is fear.

Fear paralyzes our thought process, thus making us ineffective to proceed. Fear can be overcome by simply stepping out by faith and believing that God will always be there to catch us when we fall.

However, for this step to take place, we must have a relationship with God to understand and know that he is always with us.

I remember so clearly when I was self-employe. I received a service call at The Columbia Theoligical Siminary in Avondale, Georgia. The lady that I was assisting and I began to engaged in conversation.

In that conversation I began to tell her that I was self employed and I shared some of my fears. She said to me " Bernie, my husband is a minister and we received a calling to come to Georgia to serve God". 

She went on to say -- "We were fearful, but stepped out in faith and believed God would take of us and He did".

She continued by saying. "Bernie, you will never know The Grace of God, untill you step out in faith."

I never forgot our conversation to this day. I never saw her again, but her words Ring Loud and Clear in my heart.

I've added to her saying, by saying this ... "One will never know if he or she can swim playing in shallow water. You must get out into the deep, where your feet cannot touch bottom to know if you can truly swim".

If there is one thing that most people are afraid of, it is to take risks. Many people tend to be hesitant as it relates to the decisions made concerning their lives.

Confidence is basically a strong belief in yourself and your abilities.... is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis, which means (is a proposed explanation for a phenomenon. ) or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective.

Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.
(Innate means: Existing in one from birth)

Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Arrogance or hubris in this comparison, is having unmerited confidence.

John Dewey said these words: As is our confidence, so is our capacity. in other words the stronger our confidence the greater our accomplishments.

John McAfee said this: "Confidence is a plant of slow growth in an aged bosom". So embrace confidence, walk and talk with confidence.


Listen: The true test of self-confidence is the courage to be open and honest...

We all know that life is a perpetual struggle. It calls for gigantic courage and strength. It really does!!! If  you don't know we are known as creatures of illustration and more importantly this life calls for confidence in ones self.

Believe this or not .... without self-confidence we are like babies in a world with insensitive people that will chew you up and spit you out at the drop of a penny!!!

Whatever your desires, needs and wants, please don't be afraid to pursue, persevere and believe in the ability God has given you.

When you allow your confidence to build and express itself, that will no doubt open the door for someone else who has been struggling with the same issue, because you will detect that and assist them in overcoming certain fears that smothers confidence in one's self.

Dare to stand, dare to speak out, dare to step forward and dare to believe in the ability the God has given you!!!

In a world as chaotic as this,  Confidence is a must. Please don't let fear paralyze you and stop you from achieving your goals and desires!!!

Remember, confidence gives us and others a different view of who we are ... and it helps us with-stand the rocks that are thrown, because our inner strength developes an outter shield of protection.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


Oprah Winfrey said, “Often we don’t even realize who we’re meant to be because we’re so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny.” (O Magazine, November 2009)


Confidence is a very powerful tool: Does this picture depict what confidence really is? If it does, then how do you see yourself?


These are my thought ....... I welcome yours!!!

The Secret Book......



So often in life we severe relationships, keep secrets, lie and we often lie to ourselves. We find it difficult to be honest, straight forward and sincere. therefore, we choose the easier route not realizing that the easier route will sometimes cause tremedous damage.

I was talking to a friend recently and as I listened to the words that were being spoken, my mind drifted off into a place where I've been before. Still listening to my friend speak, I thought of hurtful events, dissappointments and the many messes I've created in  my own life.

I also thought of four things, that as long as we live, our lives will circle:
1- Relationships
2- Committments
3- Money
4- Sacrifice

Relationship: Connection, association, or involvement.

There is no getting around the four things I've just mentioned.  In relationships there are breakups, but this is what I've learned.

A clean break is easier  if you can reset it. And it heals and you move on. But, if you leave things messy or things don't get put right .... then it just hurts ...... And ... sometimes .... forever!!!

There are times within a relationship, even when there is  an arguement and you are the winner ... Please understand, sometimes, even when you win  .... The cost can be high and the victory hollow.

We learn and understand each other better when we explore each other.  And when we explore we may see that the line between right and wrong can sometimes become blurred.

In the search for truth you might realize that you may have become a lie. Perhaps, some secrets should remain a secret.

John Lennon said these words "Life Happens When You Are Busy Making Other Plans".

Sometimes in life we may get a little bruised, a little humble and hopefully a little smarter. J

Somehow I believe we write our own stories by the way we live. And each time we think we know the end we don't.... because it changes.

Perhaps life exists somewhere between a world of planning,  a world of chance and in a place that we really don't know at all.

You know life is funny that way, but once you let go of the wheel and cease to drive - You just might end up where you rightfully belong!!!

Have you ever really wondered who your biggest enemy is. I know we always talk about the devil, thugs, thieves, but your greatest enemy may be yourself.

Think About It!!!

Lets look at commitment:  Commitment is something that many people have a hard time with.

This simple term means that you are dedicated to one thing and one thing only, in whatever instance is at hand.

We know that there are levels of commitments. Example ... One might say I like our relationship and I want it to continue, but another might state .. I want our relationship and I will do whatever it takes to make it work.

The second statement signifies the willingness to compromise, to sacrifice my right for your wrong. The willingness to stand together in the mist of a gigantic storm.

Commitment, Marriage and Relationships works best when I turns into WE.  

If one's attitude is you have to change and be nicer to me and thats the only way things are going to get better, then things are not going to get better.

The attitude should be: We are bigger and our marriage and/or relationships are bigger than the problems that we are dealing with.

SACRIFICE is a Powerful word, but must also take place in a relationship.

When a sacrifice takes place, it indicates an act of love.  Sacrifices are a must for relationships to work. Remember, you are two people, with different personalities, wills and desires.

We could say so much more, but time won't permit.....

Commitnent is healthy, because it yields a sense of trust, obligation and sincerity. And, with the four ingrediences mentioned earlier will allow growth and fulfilment for both persons.

In any worthwhile and lasting relationship Commitment is an absolute MUST!  EXPLORE each other.

Money:  Issues can lead to great big arguments and in many instances relationships can't get off the ground until money issues are discussed and agreed upon.

When it comes to money, (some) men tend to take more risks and don't save for emergencies. Men use money as a scorecard and can struggle with self-esteem when there are financial problems.


Women on the other hand tend to see money more as a security issue, so they will gravitate toward the rainy-day fund. Because of their need for security, ladies can have a level of fear.

Men... Listen up--- Women love the feel of security. Remember this!!!

I believe that bills should not be separated, meaning you are responsible for this bill and I'm responsible for that bill. Separating the money and splitting the bills is a bad idea.

As you work on your money together, you will begin to change your family tree. One of your main goals in your marriage or any relationship should be to pass a legacy down to your children and grandchildren.

That legacy is: How to financially work together and in doing so you can teach your children and grandchildren The Legacy and Secrecy of financial freedom -- By working together as a TEAM!!!


My advice to you is -- Please do not let money become The Most Important thing in your relationship... Learn to work together...

Remember this :

People die, life moves on, but memories lasts as long as you let them!!! And in memory they live forever!!!

So, Love, Live and Laugh .....

I hope this makes sense to you!!!  And please remember, I am not an expert, but I do believe what I am stating is the truth and nothing but the truth. But you be the judge!!!


These are my thoughts .... I welcome yours!!!

Growing Older....The Right Way...

Growing older can be exciting, adventurous, fun, scary, and sometimes depressing!!! However, that being said aging is a natural process of life. Sadly, many of us live as though we will never get old.

And... when old age hits us we are usually unprepared.

As you know, aging is simply The natural order being reversed. Even though we think we do everything we can to hold on to our youth, trust me getting older is inevitable.

So why not age gracefully, happily, joyously and simply LIVE!!!

When you and I confront this reality and the sooner you and I confront this reality we can then began a healthy relationship to life, getting older and even death.

Don't invision yourself sitting in a rocking chair, peeking out of a window, remembering what was and what use to be. Age should never be treated as a disease but as a cure, a joyous cure of no longer being young.

Growing older is a joyful priviledge and honor!!!

So, use the wisdom that you have gained over the years to be a better you. Stop being concerned  about wha others think of you!!! take life by the horn and dictate the destiny God has issued to you before you were ever conceived...... And.... Live!!!

Rebuke thise so call aches and pains that hits you because of aging. Listen, according the The Word of God Moses lived to be an Hundred and twenty [120} years old. The Word of God also states that the countenence was Moses was not changed, meaning that he still looked young, and he was healthy and agile.

So, the question I ask is why do we let ourselves go, waste away, collapse, degenerate?

Because we grow old does not mean that we should let our bodies go to waste.

STILL LOOK YOUR BEST .... STILL BE THE BEST ... STILL SEEK THE BEST...

FREE YOUR MIND OF I'M OLD, NO... YOU ARE MUCH BETTER!!!!

BELIEVE THE WORDS I AM SPEAKING!!!!

You don't need to fight to stay young, you don't need to fight from growing older ... But you need need to fight to be the best you can be and to take the inevitable, which is growing older -- by The horn and lead it to aid you in becoming a better man or woman and not let it lead you on a downward spiral.

 Here is something many have issues with  that growing older in wisdon can cure

When you are young you get worked up about what people think about you. The good thing about getting older is that you realize what people think doesn't matter. it is what you think of yourself that matters most!!!

There is so much more we can talk about when it comes to growing older. So make your growing older fun, exciting and enjoyable.

Understand, as we get older we don't have to compete with the younger crowd, we don't need to force ourselves in  their world. Because when you grow old the right way if the younger crowd will love having us around.


Just be who you are,  and venture out when you please and grow older The Right Way!!!

Bottom line, take care of yourself and grow older gracefully....




These are my thoughts ...... I welcome yours!!!

Walk the Talk...

 http://www.doyouwalkthetalk.com/

Just click the above link, then click the go to link when it appears...


                                                              There was an incident that happened on my job that required credibility. I chose the truth over friendship. As a result my upper management awarded me with the link you see above.

After all was sad and done, the friend I was prepared to lose came back and apologized for putting me in that position. Our friendship remained and My credibility was kept in tact.

I was proud of myself for making the correct choice of choosing truth over a lie, even to the tune of loosing a friend and proud of my friend for having the guts to ask my forgiveness, which I gladly gave.

Yes, my friend was fired, but our friendship remain!!!

Recently I was awarded The Silver Award and yes it contained a monetary value. The same manager that presented me with the link above congradulated me on The Silver Award and reminded me of this link that he sent to me more the two years ago. And yes I forgot above it. But the amazing thing was that, he remembered and sent it to me again.

Credibility, Honesty, Fair play, Trust will take you a very long way. And, even when you forget, others will remember because the words I mentioned above are Powerful, penetrating words that will last ... even  if you forget and when you are gone...

Choose truth over a lie!!!


Nothing more need to be said!!!


These are my thoughts.... I welcome yours!!!

The weight of life.....

This may be a little difficult so stay with me. How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you are carrying a backpack. I want you to pack all the stuff that you have in your life.


Now you start with the little things, shelves, drawers and knick knacks. Then you start to add larger stuff. Clothes, table top appliances, lamps, T.V, etc. Your back-pack should be getting a little heavy now.

Then you go bigger. Your couch, car, your home. Stuff it all into that back-pack.

Now fill it with people. Starting with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office.

Then you move with people that you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers , Your sisters, children, parents and finally your husband, your wife, your home, boy-friend and your girl-friend.

Get them into that back-pack. Feel the weight of that bag. These things weigh us down until we can barely move. Make no mistake; your relationships are the heaviest components in your life.

All of those negotiations, arguments and secrets, compromising. How much to they weigh?

Listen .... The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals are meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a life-time. Star-cross lovers, monogamous Swans.

We are not Swans. A swan can move as slow as they like and live. A Shark, if it moves slowly, will die. It is important that Sharks move in order to channel water through its gils to allow it to breath. Therefore we are Sharks. How do I know? Because we are constantly moving trying to accomplish this & that.

We think if we sit still something will pass us by. Because we take little time to share ourselves with those who loves us and whom we love.

We are busy with the rat race of this world's life, its economics, its politics, etc. But even Sharks will take a moment to glide and enjoy the moment. Why don't you?

Therefore, how much does your life actually weighs? Do you honestly know?

Listen, when it is all over here, when your love ones are looking at you for the last time; and if God allows you the time to reminisce over your life, what will be more important? your worldly accomplishments, the money you accumulated, your home, cars you've purchased?  Relationships??????

What? ... What? ...What?.....

What kind of legacy do you intend to leave behind. These are good thoughts to ponder ... these are good questions to answer.....

I stated this in a precious blog:
Every man must live with the decisions he make in this life.  And you have two choices ...  -To exercise the spirit of a boy or The wisdom of a man. 

The same applies to women.  ... You too have two choices ... To exercise the spirit of a girl or The wisdom of a woman.



These are good thoughts ....And good questions to answer... What do you think?

Be Yourself.......

.

How does it feel when life doesn't feel real and you're floating about on your own? You life is uncertain so you draw the curtain pretending there is nobody home.

But don't be arise, open your eyes - they can't tell lies, so don't you disguise what you see, the mirror is free.

I sometimes strip naked just as I came into the world and look at myself in the mirror -- directly eye to eye. I sometime ask the question:

Lord, are you pleased with me, are you grieved with me. I want an honest report as to how you see me?  The one person you can never lie to is God. This I know. But you can lie to others, including yourself.

Why do we lie? Why do we seek an image that is not true? Why do we hide who we really are? What is the real reason?

Remember we do have a Saviour, Even though, by our behaivor He was killed and they thought He was gone; song birds are talking and The runners are walking and The Prodigal son is coming home.

When he does come home, look in his eyes, they won't tell lies, but if he defies what you see, he will give you the key.

Always Be yourself .......

We need choosers, so we build computers and we program ourselves not to see; The truth and the lying, the dead and the dying a silent majority.

But ..... don't be arise, look in their eyes, are they telling lies - The ones that they learn on T.V?

What a way to be free......

When you begin to see the skin you are in --- then you will know that you are the only one of its kind. So if I cease to be myself ... then who is going to be me?


Listen, we have The Grace og God to run this race....


See yourself .... Be yourself .... Free yourself ....

I getting old and I need to have a Heart of Gold .... Therefore I choose to Be myself!!!!

You strive for the same.......

Lastly... When you and I walk in the shoes that God has given us from birth and when you look at yourselve in the mirror, we may be amazed at what we see: Hint... 

These are my thoughts ..... I welcome yours!!!

The Chess Game of Decisions....

As I sit and wonder, I hear the beating of my heart. Not only can I here it's beating, but I can feel it as well. There is also a nervous tension. I would be lying if I told myself that I did not know what was going on, because I do.

Written on the date below ...Posted 11-29-2011

So, today is truth day-dated May 4, 2011 at 12:21pm.

I have lived for a short period of time to me and maybe a long period of time to you, but in my living I have seen so many things. Some good, shocking, hurtful. Somethings what I've seen  has had little bearing on my emotions. Only because I refused to let it.


What I'm experiencing now, has been brewing for a long time. So, why do I let it bother me so?


Not my childhood rearing, but my life as an adult...


However...


I grew up in a home where truth was at the bottom of the list when it came to very important things.  I would sit, watch and hear my parents argue. I would stand back and see the fear on my siblings faces as I stood in a corner feeling and hearing my heart pound.


And one day at the age of thirteen I came home from school and my mother informed me that my dad had left us. I WAS DEVASTED....HURT...and ANGRY!!!


In my own little world I began to understand the words "inner peace"... I know that having inner peace doesn't mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or heart-ache. I've learned that it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

I discovered a world that I could resort to even though the world around me was chaotic.

From there I began to live my life on the basis of what you are about to read below:


The person who Smiles on the outside, when he is crying on the inside; who wears a smile on his face when there are tears in his heart, has mastered the art of all arts-Self-control...
.....................................................................................
There is nothing final about a mistake, except that mistake is taken as final.

 I held on to this most, if not all of my adult life. Not wanting anyone to see me hurt, disappointed, or discouraged. It became my way of life. 

The Power of The Mind is a very Powerful thing...As the picture above can so vividly illustrate, it can set you free, even if it is only temporary. 

However, without going any deeper, as I grew older I began to understand why my Mother and Father could not continue.

But there is a secret behind the secret....{ That I don't care to discuss}...


I know now that sometimes love can withstand and endure a storm, but sometimes the hurt is so devastating until the only thing left to do is to leave or separate...

No one ever know the worries, regrets and mistakes that memories make. Nor does anyone know how sweet or bitter a relationship can be for an individual.


Deception  is devastating. It can destroy a heart, a relationship and anything else in it's path. Much like a Hurricane and a Tornado.

Especially when someone already know the truth...

Can you relate to what I'm saying? Do you understand? Do you have the faintest idea?

My mom and dad needed to be free of each other. Well, at least they thought so. I personally felt that, by the two of them separating, they robbed themselves of each other.

Even though my mom told me that my dad was her first love... They were robbed.

Sometimes you wonder, how can you have a beautiful relationship end without making beautiful mistakes. Sounds strange what was just stated, does it not?


But some mistakes are fatal to a relationship, at least it was to my parents.

 Leaving is hard and it always is, when you deeply love someone, but sometimes, staying can be worst than leaving..and sometimes freedom can feel like treason when you have left someone you deeply love.

Sometimes leaving someone in sorrow can surprise you and become treasured gold. And in a long run, can be a blessing and not a curse.

Decisions when in a relationship can be very difficult to make and sometimes people give up to soon. Nevertheless we all make decision that we are faced to live with; whether they are good or bad; right or wrong. But some decisions Must be made.

And .... Sometimes no decision can the worst decision of all.


But, he who has no sin, let him cast the first stone.




These are my thoughts ......I welcome yours...  Happy reading...