{Hurt..... .....Pain .... & ..... Memories}

The mind as you know can be as asset as well as a detriment. As events happen in your life, we know that some memories are good and some are bad. Yet life affords us the opportunity to remember and to forget.

But, do we  really, honestly ever forget incidents that happened in our lives?

I reminisce on my youth, family life as a child and I remember so many events that I now realize I've suppressed over the years. Yet, those events have always been an ever present companion, that I knew was there, felt it's presence, but refused to look at or to address it.

So, today I express a moment in time, when hurt was so great, silence was so noisy and finding the remedy as a young boy was simply out of reach!

Today, I choose not hide in my hiding place, which is my mind. You see, my mind, my thought process, my God given ability live to live in a make believe world is not desired today.

As I sit  in my chair, in the dark, at my desk, with just a glee of light, I choose to to express pain, hurt and disappointment, As I remember events from the the first grade, those who have passed on, and those who caused pain, hurt and disappointment in my life....

And here it goes...

..................................

I hurt myself today, to see if I can still feel. I focus on the pain the only thing that’s real.

The pain feels like a needle which tears a hole; an old familiar sting.

I try to kill it all away, but I remember everything. What have I become? My sweetest friend … everyone I love and know goes away in the end.

And, you can have it all, the memories I've suppressed. I will let you down, I will make you hurt. I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar’s chair, Full of broken and hurtful thoughts I cannot repair.

Beneath the stains of time, the feelings hurt and pain will disappear. You ,someone and somewhere else, I am still right here.

What have I really become. Everyone I know and love goes away in the end. If I could start again a million miles away; I would keep myself; I would find away.

If only I knew back then what I know today!!!

I would love to hear your voice again; Sometimes I wanna call you; But I know you won't be there..


Pain suppressed can be a mindful, ever present companion ... Pain released -- can bring freedom!!!

Who am I, and what have I become? who are you and what what do you wish to be... Please don't enslave yourselves in suppressed memories like me....


Memories .... Of all The Powers Of The Mind, memories are The Most Delicate and The Most Frail....

Just a final note:

It’s going to be a long, long journey. It’s going to be an uphill climb… it’s going to be a tough fight, it’s going to be some lonely nights.


But I’m ready, to carry on... I’m so glad the worst is over….. I can start living now.

I feel like I can do anything… Finally, I’m not afraid to breathe…

Anything you say to me and everything you do, you can’t deny the truth… because I’m living proof…

So many don’t survive; they just don’t make it through…. But look at me … I’m the living proof.

Thinking about a life been painful … It took a while to learn how to smile… So now I’m willing to talk to people about the storm;

I’m so glad the worst is over … coz it is all beneath me now… it is time to start flying I believe I now know how...

My best days are still in front of me and I’m almost there. At this stage in my life my mind is free, my heart is relieved.

Nothing about my life has been easy …. Nothings going to keep me down!!!

I know a lot more today than I did yesterday, so I’m ready to press on.

What I've expresssed may seem strange, but what I've held deep in my heart is oh so real!!!

These are thoughts ... that are real  and emotions that are true.... but, how do my thoughts affect you?